Finding Your Way

A fellow writer challenged people to write about the turning point in their lives - the one instance where things fell apart and they found their way.  He wants everyone to share their story.

"Which time" is the first question that pops into my mind. He talked about the life changing events that led him to do his life purpose. I found my life purpose years ago. Still, things threaten to muddy it.

This last time? Well, writing about that would be hard because this latest life wreckage is still ongoing.  The past few years have piled up a mass of pain and frustration, and complete disillusionment to so many things, big and small, I'm still reeling in the aftermath while staring into the maw of what yet awaits for the near future.

I will escape. How do I know that? Because there is no other option. None that I know of. When? As soon as I can manage, but the exact timetable is unknown.

How does one recover from a realization that someone they thought was a very dear friend for years really didn't know them at all? Which then reveals just how much of the past five or so years were false - of the friends that were considered family who are no longer there because of some misunderstanding of something they assumed you thought? How does one deal with finishing the thing that was their main life purpose, the one task that has ruled their life for the last twenty years, hitting the end of that line and having just empty air? How does one survive the fight of a dear family member with an illness that can't be cured? An illness that made clear just how bad the "systems" that I thought were there to help had gotten. There is no help. And how does one keep going when what they do with their heart and soul is referred to as: glad you get to do your "thing" but  how about a real job. A statement that wasn't meant to harm but somehow stripped every last ounce of "get up" that remained. Because without the "thing" - aka, my life purpose - there really is nothing else.

You just do.

You get up each morning and "do."  Do what? That doesn't much matter, I don't think, not to start. It's a matter of just doing something, anything.  One day at a time. And having the courage to do the thing that completes you or remain with the "thing" even when it's thought a waste by people important to you.

Life takes a huge amount of stubbornness, perseverance, determination, and conviction.  It will test you over and over, prod, strangle, stomp on, and try to beat you to a pulp. It may even succeed to reducing you to pulp. We all fall into the despair. That's okay. Just don't stay there too long. Defiantly get to your knees, keep your chin high, and get up no matter how many times you land at the bottom. Get up. Pick up the pieces, or throw them out and make new ones. And keep going forward. Life will try to keep you down. Don't let it. You are better than that.